


From a God's Point of View

by ultrapsychobrat



Category: Blake's 7
Genre: Gen, Ninebillion Names of God ficathon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-11
Updated: 2010-03-11
Packaged: 2017-10-07 21:31:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/69432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultrapsychobrat/pseuds/ultrapsychobrat





	From a God's Point of View

You have to be tough to be a god, or so I've found. It isn't all power and wishes, no matter what you've heard. I don't know who those gods are that only seem interested in souls worshipping them and following some rules of behavior for a reward or whatever. Sounds boring. Besides, who has the time? There are all the ones you're responsible for—they have to be watched over, guided, helped. Now that applies to all of them, of course, but all of us are also in charge of a few special ones, ones that make or break a whole frame of development. I mean, we're talking about the destinies of billions of souls dependent on what these particular ones do. And here we get to the iffy part—these 'special' ones aren't always easy. In fact, they tend to create a great deal of difficulty.

For instance, what do you do with a soul like Kerr Avon? He believes he is in sole charge of his life and destiny. Oh, not that free choice isn't real; it's just that there's a bit more to it than simple random selection from the whole palette. Soul's are sort of like two-year-olds—let them choose which socks to wear from the two pair that you lay out.

I really hadn't paid too much attention to him during his growing years. He was bright—almost too bright—but he seemed capable of handling it. He took his learning seriously and was good at it. Looking back, I can see places where maybe I should have stepped in, but I was really busy with other, more urgent matters. By the time I got around to him, he had already determined that wealth equaled happiness. No quarter was given to any emotion that might delay the acquisition of that wealth. Do unto others before they do unto you was the motto he lived by. But, as is always the case, the best laid plans and so forth. When his plans for the quick smash and grab of his government's banking system turned sour, he ended up on a prison ship bound for a life of incarceration on a harsh little world with no hope.

When I saw the mess Kerr had placed himself in concerning the embezzlement attempt, I decided it was time to guide his fate in a different direction, to connect his destiny to that of another soul of equal influence—someone who would demand his focus, both mental and emotional. It wasn't easy, believe me. Kerr was determined to hold onto his solitude in the face of all. Oh, he thought his relationship with that woman had been real; it was acceptable to claim a lost love, one that had never demanded the proof of everyday life, but he needed more than she could ever have provided, even if she had been sincere. He needed someone who wouldn't let him hide in his mind behind that cold exterior of sarcasm and disillusionment that he'd perfected, someone who would drag him screaming and kicking into the light of interaction with another and, no matter how hard he tried to deny it, someone who would make him live.

Enter Roj Blake: rebel extraordinaire, on his own blind rush through the frame of existence, making his imprint. Connecting the two of them was easier than I'd thought it would be. Roj saw Kerr as the complement he needed to make his plans succeed. Kerr saw Roj as his means of escaping a much hated fate. Provide one super advanced starship, a handful of companions and the destiny of Kerr Avon was set on a path that he could never have foreseen. Of course, I didn't see it too clearly, either—not at first

And so things began—not easily, I'll admit. For a bit there, at first, I almost lost Kerr to his own dark devices. Oh, the fight he put up, the soul rending agony he suffered—he was so determined to escape the coils of this man he was drawn to. He threatened to leave over and over, actually left once for an hour or so, bitterly returned, still threatening to leave. I had to keep on top of things to prevent this from actually happening. Of course, Roj was of great help; he loved Kerr almost on sight, and was pretty adept at handling the ups and downs of their relationship—at least, those first few years.

Unfortunately, I missed the depth of the discouragement that settled over Roj as Kerr continued in his stubborn insistence on his wish for independence. Some might call me negligent, and I guess they'd be right. I was blinded by my own ego, congratulating myself on my brilliant manipulation that had placed these two together. I'd been so busy keeping Kerr where he needed to be that I failed to prevent Roj from opting out of this rocky relationship. Suddenly, he was gone and had no intention of returning. His motives were mixed—part of him wanted to give Kerr what he said he wanted; part of him just wanted some kind of peace; and part of him wanted to protect Kerr. He somehow got the idea that if he went off on his own, Kerr would go a different way and, therefore, would remain safe.

Well, that was not an option as far as I was concerned, and, after all, I was the god in this little scenario. So Kerr's focus remained on the man from whom he'd so often professed the desire to be free, and there followed a long, long, period of desperate searching and longing. Oh, he tried to deny it, tried to go back to what he'd been before Roj had entered his life--dead to the world of love. He used and discarded and severed every connection to others, but he could not erase what he'd known with Roj…and it gradually drove him to the edge of insanity. Insanity, you see, is the final escape from what a soul is afraid to face. When I finally maneuvered these two so that they could reconnect, I thought I'd circumvented Kerr's leap into the oblivion of unknowing. But trust him to think of something I hadn't. It never occurred to me that he would kill Roj in order to evade my efforts. Not that I was that easy to get around--not hardly.

The end came suddenly, both dying within minutes of the other. A period of confusion is normal upon entry into this vibrational realm; the differences in existence are great as you might imagine. It took a bit until they recognized where they were, and then remembered how they'd reached here. While recriminations aren't the order of the day, there was a definite air of dissatisfaction about them when they considered what they had achieved and the potential they had thrown away.

_"Well, that was a great waste of time," Kerr complained. "We might as well have stayed where we were to begin with."_

_"Yes, well, it could have gone better," Roj agreed. "I don't suppose you could have trusted me a bit more?"_

_"To what end? Your enemies were already in residence."_

_"Umm, you're right, of course. I guess we'll have to do a better job of it next time. You might make an effort to be of more help."_

_"Oh, might I? Let's look at this logically…."_

And so it continues. Try as we might…none of us dies forever, not even Kerr Avon.


End file.
